People struggling with mental illness shouldn’t be in church leadership, Jarrid Wilson’s friend says - The Christian Post
People struggling with mental illness shouldn’t be in church leadership, Jarrid Wilson’s friend says - The Christian Post |
| Posted: 18 Sep 2019 08:53 AM PDT  Dale Partridge, a pastor and house church planter and "true" friend of late California Pastor Jarrid Wilson, says Wilson had expressed a desire to step down from his high pressure role as associate pastor prior to his suicide. Wilson was a pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, California, before his late-night suicide two Mondays ago. Partridge also argued that it is "reckless" and unbiblical for churches to put someone in a position of leadership who is struggling mentally or has serious doubts about their faith. "As we all have watched, men who are placed in shepherding roles at churches are committing suicide and public apostasy at an alarming frequency. These men did not have secret struggles, either. Nearly all of these recent tragedies were carried out by men who openly confessed their mental illness and doubts of doctrine. The million dollar question is this: Why are churches placing men, who are so candid about their current brokenness, in positions of leadership?" Partridge asked. "The Bible gives us very clear instructions regarding the qualifications of a shepherd in the church (1 Tim 3 and Titus 1). They call for a man to be sober-minded, self-controlled, doctrinally sound, disciplined, tested, holy (the list goes on). Church, it is not accepting or tolerant or understanding or compassionate to hire a man to shepherd a flock of God's people who is openly struggling with mental illness. It's unbiblical, it's reckless, it's dangerous, and as we're seeing, it's an easy target for the enemy to [rain] down national tragedy on the church," he continued. "If your pastor has admitted to a state of mental illness he needs to be discipled not discipling others. He needs physical rest not intense spiritual labor. He needs privacy not publicity. He needs diligent prayer not overwhelming pressure. He needs to step down not be lifted up. When an officer falls many fall below. It brings confusion, doubt, fear and a litany of concerns to those beneath. God has given us clear instructions in Scripture that offer protection to His church. Every time we decide to break His commands, we only break ourselves. A pastor is not simply someone who is willing. A pastor is not simply someone who is gifted. A pastor is not simply someone who is educated. He is a man who meets all God's qualifications. This is not legalism or biblical militancy. This is safety for God's church. It's time to wake up," he said. Partridge's post, which has been liked nearly 7,000 times on Instagram alone as of Wednesday morning, quickly set off an ongoing debate on social media with many opposing and supportive responses. "I've known JW since he was briefly on staff at High Point in Memphis. I hope your words encourage and prevent those from making this same choice," replied Jamie Parker. Dr. Therese, a licensed Christian clinical psychologist, self-care and personal development guru with Exploring Therapy in California, argued however that Partridge's comments were coming from "a place of ignorance." "Dale, as a clinical psychologist and Christian who also served in ministry, I have to say that I think this post comes from a place of ignorance and furthers mental health stigma. In the US, almost half of all adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. That is because we live in a broken world. The church doesn't need perfect pastors (they don't exist) they need Pastors who are connected to God, love people, do the work needed to be healthy including getting help, and who recognize their own humanness and imperfection," she wrote. "I implore you to gain more wisdom in the area of mental health and consider how detrimental your false teaching is for the church. With all due respect, safety for the church means acknowledging that you and your judgmental, shaming, stigmatizing words are wrong," she added. In a follow-up statement to give more clarity to his comments, Partridge explained that "Jarrid was a true friend for many years" and he wasn't attempting to be insensitive or unwise with his warning. "We spoke just seven days prior to his death. I wept the day I heard. I wept the morning after. There hasn't been a day since where his death has not consumed my mind. Our home has gathered together every morning to pray for his wife and children in this difficult season. Ultimately, I want you to know, I am truly heart-broken," he said. After working at Harvest Christian Fellowship for just 18 months however, Partridge said Wilson was overwhelmed by the workload which included officiating the funeral of a young woman who took her own life on the very day he took his own. "Due to my and Jarrid's last conversation, my heartbreak quickly turned to anger. In our call, while Jarrid loved his ministry he expressed the intensity and overwhelm he was experiencing in his position as a pastor over the young adults at Harvest. As a pastor, I am fully empathetic to the incredible physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual demands of pastoral ministry. Pastoring is one of the hardest callings of human life," Partridge said. "Jarrid was hurting and he was very open about it. But more than that, he told me he was ready to step back from full-time pastoral ministry. What he really wanted was to spend his time on his true passion—helping people heal from depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts through his non-profit Anthem of Hope. His phone call to me last week was centralized on this transition. He wanted my help to move from where he was to where we wanted to be. He needed rest and he knew it." Partridge explained, however, that because of how faithful and passionate Wilson was about his work, he would never quit. "He's a good soldier. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. No complaining. Just pure faithfulness," Partridge wrote. Allowing Wilson to officiate the funeral of a person who committed suicide, Partridge further argued, was a bad idea. "When I heard that Jarrid performed a funeral for a person who committed suicide just 24 hours prior to his own suicide, it added fire to my frustration. While I don't know if the church requested him to do this duty or if he volunteered on his own, I believe it is, at the very least, a wakeup call for more wisdom, accountability, and a process to identify and help eliminate trigger points for those who are serving, hurting and don't quit," he said. "My post is simply a call for church reform according to Scripture. It's my opinion and experience that today's audience-centric churches will run pastors raw. Serve, labor, love, perform, and sacrifice until you can't do it any longer. Over the years, I have heard many pastors (who are grossly underpaid) talk about their desperate need for a break yet have no financial way of achieving it. In other words, we have built an institutional church machine that doesn't accommodate but actually compromises the health the Bible requires for New Testament pastors," Partridge added.  |
| Posted: 15 Sep 2019 03:53 AM PDT  Harvest Church has held a special service honoring Pastor Jarrid Wilson and giving the faith community space to grieve his untimely death. FAITHWIRE: 'You are in HIS Presence:' Juli Wilson Pens Emotional Post After Pastor Husband Dies By Suicide After a powerful time of worship and praise, Greg Laurie's son, Jonathan, greeted the congregation and set the tone of the evening with some impactful words. "Tonight, we can glory in the fact that we know our brother, our friend, Pastor Jarrid Wilson, is at home in the arms of Jesus," he declared, "because he put his faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior." During the course of the service, Pastor Greg Laurie paid heartfelt tribute to Wilson, noting that he was "positive, vibrant, and always serving and helping others." He also addressed the 30-year-old father's profound battle with mental illness. "He also dealt with very deep depression," Laurie explained. "It actually went back to his childhood, and he was under a doctor's care." Laurie recalled the utter shock of finding out that Wilson had taken his own life. "When I heard the news that Jarrid was gone, I just couldn't believe it. I screamed, I yelled, 'No, God, no!,'" he said. "It comes as a shock to people, because people often [falelsy] think we, as pastors and leaders, are above the struggles of everyday life." Continuing to set the record straight, Laurie made a declaration about Wilson's eternal destiny. "Jarrid had put his faith in Christ, and that's why I believe, right now, he is in the presence of the Lord in heaven," he said. "One dark moment in a Christian's life cannot undo what Christ did for us on the cross," Laurie added, reciting Romans 8:38:
Speaking of the night that Jarrid took his own life, Laurie urged caution to those who are tempted to make rash assumptions and judgments about the situation. "We don't know what was going on in his mind that night," the evangelist explained. "He was dealing with medical challenges and other extenuating circumstances we know nothing of. So, it's really not fair to be passing judgment — this is a time for compassion." Even Prophets Didn't Have All The Answers Laurie wisely pointed out that, seeing as several leading Biblical figures suffered from debilitating depression and mental health issues, why should we anticipate this will be any different for those in church leadership? "Job wished he had never been born. Jeremiah, at least on one occasion, wanted to die. Jonah wanted to die too," Pastor Greg explained. Laurie also recalled a time that he preached on the prophet Elijah's experience of deep depression. "Here's a man that God used to bring miracles, yet he was so depressed that he wanted to die," he explained. "I just pointed out that we can have times of depression, we can have times where we're sad, and it doesn't mean our faith is gone or we're a failure as believers.. it means we're hopelessly human and we constantly need Christ." Laurie added that Wilson personally showed his appreciation for those honest remarks. "Jarrid came up to me after the service and thanked me for saying those things," he added. In the days following Wilson's death, there has not only been an outpouring of grief, but also an increased honesty and awareness of those suffering from mental illness. Adding to that conversation, Greg went on to implore people to "reach out to Christian friends" if they are "down and alone." "It's a really good thing to do," he said. "I ask for prayer, I ask for wisdom. We all need that network of people around us." Mental Illness is Physical Laurie also rightly warned people against "pointing fingers" after someone has taken their own life. "They think 'why did they do that? Why didn't they just snap out of that slump? Shrug off this case of the blues?'" "Let me ask this question: if Jarrid's diagnosis was a physical one, would we ask those questions?" Greg said boldly. "When we're dealing with someone who is having mental struggles, it can be an illness as much as a physical illness can be a part of one's life." "Yes, suicide is a wrong choice… haven't we all made wrong choices, and did not Christ die for people like us?" Laurie asked. "I'll tell you one choice he made that was the best ever.. and that was accepting Christ." FAITHWIRE: 'We Need God's Intervention': Police Chief Arms Himself With Bible to Fight Crime on Kenyan Streets Laurie issued an important reminder: that the love and grace of Jesus covers every single wrong choice we make while on this earth. "When you stand before God, you won't be judged by the last thing that you did before you died. You'll be judged by the last thing Jesus did before he died. He died for your sin," he declared. Concluding his remarks, Laurie urged: "When the Devil comes knocking, ask Jesus to answer the door." 'We Don't Know Why' Later in the service, mental health advocate Kay Warren spoke about the hope of Christ, which can still be found even in the midst of severe depression. Pastor's Rick and Kay lost their son Matthew to suicide back in 2013. "Matthew was diagnosed with depression when he was just 7," Kay explained. "He lived for 20 years with increasingly serious mental illness." Warren noted that she and her husband were tormented with questions in the aftermath of their son's sudden death — questions that are likely to confront anyone grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. "We don't know why Jarrid took his life," she said. "In fact, the only two people who know that are Jarrid and Jesus." Much of suicide, Kay said, is completely inexplicable. As such, we may struggle to be able to fathom how such things can occur — unfortunately, we cannot put suicide in a nice neat box and explain it all away. Why? Because "this is earth, this is not heaven," Kay said. "Everything here on earth is messy" and complex. "Some of what you ask, you will not know. There has to be, as you mourn, a releasing of those [questions] to God." 'Everything Jarrid Said About God is 100% True' Kay went on to address a very difficult question that many may be wrestling with: 'How can I trust what Jarrid said about God when he was alive, now that he has taken his own life?' "I would tell you, don't let what happened in one dark moment of his life in any way cancel out the fact that every single word Jarrid said to you about God is 100% true," Kay said. "God is good, God is trustworthy." "Every single thing that he proclaimed to you from this pulpit or any Bible study or personal conversation — anything he ever told you about the truth of God — is true. [His death] does not in any way minimize or negate the ministry he had to this church or to you," she added. Warren encouraged the Harvest congregation to "grieve together and give each other some space," as they deal with the profound questions, confusion and maybe even anger over Jarrid's death. 'My Life is Not My Own' Speaking to those who might be in the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Warren boldly proclaimed that, although suicide is not "the unforgivable sin," this in "no way gives us permission to end our own lives." "The Bible says that we belong to God — we have been bought and paid for," she said. "My life doesn't belong to me, my life belongs to God. Our times are in His hands." Warren concluded with a powerful quote from British olympian and "Chariots of Fire" star, Eric Liddell: "Circumstances may appear to wreck our lives and God's plans, but God is not helpless amongst the ruins. God's love is still working — he comes in and he takes the calamity and he uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love." "It may appear that Jarrid's death has ruined so much — and there is ruin…" Kay explained, "but God is not helpless in the ruins." "God is still at work." You can support Juli Wilson and her two boys financially by donating here. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or you just need someone to talk to, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you're looking for counseling services in your area, consult the Christian Counselors Network.  |
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